I want you, I want to be in you.

- @ValChi

When your henna tattoo looks like a rash, you KNOW you have a problem.

- @TikaSimone

I’m sorry I burn you, cut you, and tie you up. But I’ll always, always love you.

- @ohhitheresierra

As recovering TV junky I often go to you for news. Why am I always greeted with bad news in bold, 60pt, in all caps?

- @jefframone

This small mohawk took a long time to style. Please don’t ruin it.

- @JoMarieWalker

Feel free to stop blaming everything on post-modernism any time.

- @mattmikalatos

Do you like Joseph Stalin too?

- @karoline525

Putting your headlights on during the day doesn’t mean you can keep them switched off at night, you fucktards.

- @hasief

You think they’re on to us?

Sincerely, Elvis.

- @tiniluvsya

Please use Vaseline next time. I tear easily.

- @PhaxSimile

I hope you get wing cancer and die.

- @e_dward

Your ‘stach isn’t ironic, isn’t cool, and makes you look like you molest children.

- @RussellHay